Defiant Toddlers

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Permalink Reply by Jennifer M on June 18, 2009 at 9:17am

I just found this site and read about your problem. I think that he is testing you and your limits. He could also be trying to get your attention. Even bad attention is still attention. He is trying to testing your consistency. For example, he throws a fit when you tell him it's naptime and he wants to keep watching tv, if you give in to him just to get him to stop crying, screaming, etc., you have just taught him that all he needs to do is to get louder and you will give in to his demands. If he does this consistently enough, then this will be a part of his thought process. "I don't want to do it, so I'll scream until I get my way." It ALWAYS gets worse before it gets better.

My daughter used to open the car doors at random points, if she decided that she did not want to be in the car anymore. We turned "on" the child locks on the back doors of our cars. They can't open the car door from the inside. The door can only be opened from the outside, so it is permanently "locked" until you move the switch back. You should try this on your car. If you open the door, and look at the inside edge of the door you should see a manual switch that moves into two positions, it usually says locked. Move the switch into the "locked" position and your son will no longer be able to open the door from the inside. Thereby giving you control of his exit from the vehicle.

Potty training is always an issue. My oldest daughter was almost completely potty trained when her little sister came, and she completely reverted back to diapers, because she saw mommy changing diapers and wanted the attention. My pediatrician said not to worry about it until she is ready for Kindergarten, as long as he is potty trained by then, you are good. If you feel pressure that his potty training is not on schedule, remember that every child is different, and you should not compare children. I know that it's hard not to though. My oldest daughter was not potty trained until she was 4 or 4.5 years old. I would say relax.

Sometimes it helps if you let them pick out their "big boy" underwear at the store and put it on a visible self that they can not reach in the bathroom and tell him that he can't wear them until he goes x number of days without an "accident" or a wet pull up.

A friend of mine also purchased one of those laminated one month calendars (the ones with the and she puts stickers on each day that her son goes without an accident. If he goes one month without an accident, then he gets a new toy that has already been purchased and is sitting on the shelf next to the underwear. She says that her son is trying a lot harder now that he has a goal that he can track and work towards.

I just realized how long this post is, so I will stop now.

Permalink Reply by Bobby Torres on September 12, 2009 at 1:07pm

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