Internal Numbness

My exterior is pristine, a flawless and solid masterpiece
Crying is in vain for it changes not your circumstance
Being moved by words or song appears futile
These actions are embraced by the weak
Composure and “confidence” are my sustaining lifelines
Smiles are ever-present, forced to appear by pride
Perfection seems easy if one only looks at the surface
Beneath this composition of an unblemished façade
Emotions burn and cry out to be heard
Rejection and pain are the sources of the howling
Drowned out by a barrier, created by self
Nothing escapes, no refuge is found
Choosing to live behind this wall
I separate myself from feeling reality
Like a blanket for warmth
I allow this to embrace my whole being
God offers truth, freedom, identity
I remain in deception, bondage, fantasy
This refuge I created is uncomfortably cozy
When will true satisfaction be present?