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My Testimony (about me): My name is Debra Beisel, I have 3 beautiful children. My son Devin 28, has been involved in Spirit Life ministry for the last 6 years, Dawn 23, recently re-dedicated her life back to the Lord and Darla 25 who we are still praying for her salvation. I am a grand mother of 1 and 1 on the way. I look back over my life and know that God has been walking with me for a very long time and yet I wasn't always aware of it at those moments. God kept me safe in the middle of a very dysfunctional home life with alcohol, drugs. gambling and criminal activity all around me while my brothers and sisters were being molested and sent out to do crimes, I was always the child cleaning the house and trying to make my parents happy as I thought would make things better. I was different from my brothers and sisters. I was the studious one who loved to read and go to church. My family knew I was different and that something was different about me. When I was 6 years old I would get up all by myself and get dressed and walk to the Catholic church down the street. I loved being by the priests and nuns and loved this god they talked about. My family would make fun of me and said if they wanted to find me all they had to do was look for me at the church or rectory with the nuns. I was the cinderella of the house, my oldest sister would make fun of me and say that cleaning the house was my job and my reason for being there. My mom was a barmaid who worked nights.and my dad was a painter but all I remember is growing up with an extended family from the local bar my mom worked at with alcohol always around. There were lots of happy drunk people around. I remember at around 4 years old I was ironing my moms pants for work and the iron dropped on my hand and I have a scar from the tip of my pointer finger to the top of my thumb. I think to myself why would a 4 year old be ironing her moms pants. I was always trying to please and do nice things for people. That is what I was taught in school by the nuns. I remember at a very young age that my parents would put me up on the bar table to dance and do the twist to get the people at the bar to laugh and throw coins on the bar. Every summer my uncle from Chicago would come and get me to take me back with him and his wife for summer vacation. I remember as I got older thinking how much I looked like my cousin. It was never really discussed but after I got older my youngest sister told me that I was my uncle's daughter. That explained why I was so different. At 16 I got a good job so I graduated early from high school and began working full-time. After a couple months, I moved out of my parents house because it was actually more safe and secure living by myself than with my siblings who were trying to commit suicide and/or attempting to kill each other. My sisters and brothers by that time were full blown alcoholics and drug addicts. God protected me the whole time. I have never done drugs or smoked cigarettes. I took one puff of marijuana and a cigarette and hated it. There was never any desire to do that kind of stuff. That is a miracle in and of itself. I do remember my grandmother having me kneel by the side of her bed for hours saying the rosary. She was bedridden many days because of a spinal injury but I remember the presence of God coming into the room. My grandmother didn't really talk about God but did believe in saying the rosary and praying. I loved to read so I remember being 7 or 8 years old wanting to read the Bible that she had on her bookcase so I took it home with me. When she found out her Bible was missing she called my mother accusing me of being a thief and made me give it back. I think about that now and realize how many Bibles I bought my children growing up and I couldn't get them to read any of them. I remember at my loneliness times in life that the presence of God was always with me. I couldn't explain it but I knew He was there even when I wasn't lliving like I should be.. I was Catholic and was always told that is the only true religion. I remember being on one of the first dates with the man who eventually became my husband. We went to see The Exorcist. It affected me so much and I had so many questions that Dan took me home to his parents who were Christians to answer all the questions I had. Well, that was it, they fell in love with me. They gave me the love I was looking for in a family. There son grow up in the church but wasn't living for God and was out partying and drinking. I meet my husband at work. He was very charismatic and loved to be in center stage. They got me signed up for catechism classes right away and in 6 months I was baptismed, filled with the Holy Spirit and married. I didn't know it at the time but my husband was sort of faking his way throw it all. We got married within that year and life moved on quickly. Seven years into the marriage I knew something was drastically wrong, I was working full time, going to school, had 3 children in 5 years and my husband was continually taking on new jobs. He was involved in the church's Music and Drama with his brother and enjoyed the excitement of that. He told me that was this was his ministry and I didn't want to fight what God had him doing. He would leave on music tours for a week at a time and leave me alone with no money to buy food because he took the last $100.00 to buy the tux he needed for the tour. I became more and more depressed because I was made to feel like this is what I had to do to please God and Dan's ministry. I was too embarassed to tell anyone because the people at the church thought he was wonderful. Women would come up to me and say how wonderful he was and how they loved his voice and talent. That would make me question myself even more. I believed it was all me until eventually it all came out that he was having an affair. Both him and his brother were going through divorces and the church asked them to leave. That caused a downward spiral of bitterness,, resentment, alcohol and drugs for them. Because I divorced him he wouldn't pay child support for years until he was forced to later in life. Life was tough trying to raise 3 children alone. Many times I thought I shouldn't have divorced him because at least he was another set of hands every once in a while. I realize now by part in the break-up. I didn't allow him to be the man he needed to be but took over the responsibilities he should have taken thinking I was doing the right thing. I was determined to make a better life for my children. I worked full-time, went back to school and focused on my career and keeping a roof over our heads. In the meantime, I was paying a nanny more than the house payment. God did send us a little lady by the name of Mrs. Kay,she was an angel especially for Dawn and Darla. Devin didn't really like her and was getting older so he went to live with his grandparents and father at around 15 or 16 years old. I thought it would help him to be with men but it made things worse. I tried to keep the children in a Christian school and going to church on Sunday. Darla was in soccer and Dawn in Polish dance. I thought I was doing OK but I was only kidding myself. My kids did have a roof over their heads, clothes and food but they didn't have parents who were involved in their lives. I was doing things for them but not really communicating or getting to really know and understand them. I had no strength left nor did I know how to communicate in a healthy way. My idea was to intimidate and threaten them to do what I wanted them to do. Well, that didn't work. Darla had friends who she became a part of their family and they pretty much molded and influenced her life. Dawn had Mrs. Kay and Brianna, her best friend next door who were her second family, Devin had his father's family and friends while I was working myself to death, literally both physically and spiritually. In my mind, I was doing this all for the kids as this is what I was suppose to do to support and care for my children because we didn't have anyone else there to help us. The kids grandparents tried to be there in the distance but as they got older there was less and less time with the grandparents.

God was always watching out for me and just waiting for me to call out to HIM for help. I was stubborn and prideful thinking I had to do it all on my own and that I didn't need a man or anyone to help me. I equate it now much like the children of Isreal going around in circles looking for the Promised Land. It should have only taken them a couple weeks to get there but it took 40 years. I feel like that. It has taken me many years going in circles and allowing the worries and troubles of this world to get in the way of me being closer to where I should be in my walk with God. So much time wasted but I know my God has always been walking with me, protecting me and patiently waiting for me. God is a god who restores lost time, hopes and dreams. I have two children saved and a third on her way. I am going to have another grandchildren who will be living with me. My son has just married a beautiful, Christian woman.

My testimony is not a radical one but one of God proving himself real to me day by day in His mercy, grace, provision and protection. How I came to move to Arizona and my journey since is a whole other long story that I can't go into now. I am so blessed and looking forward to a closer walk with HIM side by side in my now more mature years. Jesus Christ has many characteristics, but I know Him best as My Father. It is one thing to experience rejection and malice from a brother and sister, but it is entirely different to experience rejection and malice from a father. God made himself my father at a very young age when my father wasn't able to. What we learn in the presence of God cannot be learned in the presence of man. I urge the young people to seek the Holy Spirit and develop your very own personal relationship with The Father. Don't look to people to fill that void in your heart. Only Jesus Christ can fill it.

Full Name: Debra Beisel

City:: Phoenix

State:: AL

Zip Code: 85041

Country: USA

Relationship Status:: Single

Gender: Female

How did you hear about us?: Internet

What is your Christian faith level?: On Fire for Jesus

Your Home Church & Location?: Spirit Life

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Comment Wall (12 comments)

At 8:03am on March 25, 2008, Carol said…: Hi Debra, Welcome to lifespace! I live in Pennsylvania. I appreciate your honesty. I was raised a lukewarm Christian, you know the morals are great but don't ask me to get involved, but God had other plans. My Grandson is in EG and attends Spirit Life. I went out to AZ in February. I knew so many from attending on-line, it was wonderful to see my Spirit Life family in person.God Bless!

At 6:25am on June 29, 2008, Bobby Torres said…: Dear Debbie, I invite you to join our Testimonial Group at http://www.lifespace.cc/group/testimonials. Tell the world your story about God and the ministry that impacted your family.

At 8:44pm on August 17, 2008, Dawn said…: Hello dear,
I just wanted to say I love you and thank you for everything. I am very blessed to have you as a mother!

At 10:25pm on August 18, 2008, Alex Vega said…: Debbie.

It has been my pleasure to be apart of Devin's life.

I too remember the first day I met your son, took him out to Taco Bell and shared with him what God was doing in my life at the time and what God wanted to do in his life.

I have not forgotten.

I remember the times we both would stay up late at night talking about the things of God, life, marketplace, relationships, and ministry.

Devin is a cool guy and I have seen him grow up in the Lord soo much. I always knew he would be where he is today in the ministry - Leadership

Thank you for your kind words on my page. I will cherish that.

Sincerely,

Alex

This is my year!

At 5:28am on August 19, 2008, Pamela Ruffalo said…: Hi Debra,
Nice to have you as a friend
God Bless,
Pamela

At 6:23am on November 14, 2008, Ben Okoroma said…: The lord will perfect all that concerns you.You are blessed

At 9:54pm on November 21, 2008, B said…: Hi Debra, i enjoyed reading your testimony. i love your analogy about walking in circles in the desert for 40 years like the Israelites - i have felt the same way about my life.
I also appreciate the warm welcome you always have for me at church =)
just wanted to say thank you.

At 11:42am on April 13, 2009, Ashley Gurley said…: thank you!

At 3:15pm on March 22, 2010, Mommy Dearest said…: Welcome to the site! May God bless you, yours and the work of your hands! Please take a moment to bless my site and be blessed in return!

--Mommy Dearest

Visit Mom-Me-Dearest.com

At 6:46pm on August 20, 2011, dBafu Community said…: Dear beloved, am so excited to tell you about a place where you can WATCH thousands of video messages of anointed men/women of God, share the love and knowledge of God among friends from all over the world, grow in the Spirit and help others grow, write/read inspirational blogs and materials, chat and do so much more.... Would You Join Us Now?

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