Deanna Mattingly's Page

My Testimony (about me)

My name is Deanna, I'm 23 years old, and I'm originally from Massachusetts. I grew up in the church raising my hand every Sunday to accept Jesus in my heart, but I knew religion, not relationship and for years lived life knowing about God, but I never knew God intimately. At the age of 14 I was sent to Arizona to go through the program "Teen Reach" (now known as "Second Chance"). At age 16 I surrendered my life to God and began to live an on-fire-for-God life. At this point I had never done drugs, never had sex, and was a "good" girl who loved butterflies, hearts, and people. Sometime leading into 2003 I began to grow weary in my walk with the Lord. When things were not going my way and the going got too tough, I decided to take God off the throne of my life and replace Him with myself. I began to wander around the country trying to find my place in this world, but I was blind to the fact that while looking for a false sense of security, I traded my identity in Christ for a false identity and soon became an instrument of darkness. I began to do things I vowed I would never do and broke my Covenant with God. Dabbling with cigarettes, alcohol, a little weed, and a lip piercing because I thought it would be fun, being 18 and all. Then came a 3 week crack binge, a tattoo, and multiple piercings. When that wouldn't suffice I moved on to more weed, more alcohol, and experimented with harder drugs such as crystal meth, acid, and cocaine. I began to experiment sexually with other men as well as with women, living a life of homosexuality in Santa Barbara, California for 3 years. Slowly I began to lose everything including my mind. For 6 months I was living in a storage unit, battling pneumonia and demons. I started whorring myself out for a place to shower and sleep which turned into a lifestyle of masochistic and occultic practices. Summer of 2006 I moved up to San Francisco, California thinking I could get right with God there, thinking I could start fresh. I was obviously deceived and instead divulged deeper into my sin... Prostituting myself for drugs, fornicating with witches and pedophiles, being consumed by the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes and the pride of life. I subconsciously viewed myself as God. Every addiction and problem I had in Santa Barbara became 10 times worse in San Francisco. I flushed thousands down the toilet with a gambling, drug, sex, alcohol, and entertainment addiction. I was drunk, high, angry, depressed and suicidal almost all the time and found myself waking up in the strangest, scariest, and most disgusting of places with strangers flaunting their members in my face. I had no fear of the law or even of death while standing on the streets outside of tranny clubs in the middle of the night trying to find a fix of some sort, something to bury God's Word which I once knew to such a deep extent. I literally lost my mind to demons of insanity doing everything I possibly could to drown out the voice of God, to run as far from Him as I possibly could. I spent countless nights in torment, cutting myself, demons walking up and down my body, clamping my mouth shut, scratching my eyelids, stomping my chest, molesting me... In January of 2007 I couldn't take it anymore. I could no longer suppress the call of God; I could no longer ignore His voice; I could no longer run. I was desperate for change; I was desperate for freedom; I was desperate for deliverance. The end of the rope was at hand and all I could say was "God, if You still want me then take me. I can't do this myself. I can't get out of this relationship myself. I can't walk away from the world myself. I can't do anything anymore, I have nothing left, I'm hopeless and lost without You. If You still want me, if You still love me, please save me, please give me another chance. God, I'm sorry, please forgive me." And let me just tell you... God showed up miraculously, powerfully broke through the darkness and drastically wrecked my world. The girl I was in a relationship with on and off for 3 and a half years and practically married to, took everything and left in the middle of the night. The people I nannied for sat me down and said they saw a dark cloud over my head and for some reason felt like they were keeping me from the correct path of life, from my purpose. God birthed in me a fight, a focus, and a determination to get in my car and go and never turn back. I drove through the night down to Arizona and re-commited my life to the Lord Jesus Christ. I trashed and burned my idols. The past year and 4 months has been amazing. At times I've looked back, at times I've fallen, at times I've thought how am I going to make it or what am I doing here, but God is faithful and has brought me through each and every day. His grace is sufficient and His mercies are new every day. He has delivered me from homosexuality, drugs, alcohol, fear, anxiety, depression, unfruitfulness, hatred and so much more! He has restored my mind, my finances, my identity, relationships, dreams and visions. I may not be where I need to be, but I'm definitely not where I used to be. I am walking in the identity of Christ and I am becoming the woman of God He has called me to be. God is my Healer, my Provider and the Lover of my soul. I am excited to see what He has in store for me and I declare in Jesus' name that I WILL fulfill the destiny He has for me. I'm not turning back!

Full Name

Deanna

City:

Phoenix

State:

AZ

Zip Code

85067

Country

USA

Relationship Status:

Single

Gender

Female

How did you hear about us?

Bob

What is your Christian faith level?

On Fire for Jesus

Your Home Church & Location?

Spirit Life Church
3444 N. 19th Ave.
Phoenix, AZ 85015