Just some food for thought

Ever felt sucker punched by someone you loved? How about by someone you looked up to? Does it hurt when they point out the obvious? Does it hurt when they feel like you aren't real, when you've been the most sincere and real with them that you could be with anyone ever? I'm currently feeling that way, but I've also found this song that makes me feel better. Actually, I found some lyrics that steered me back to the right direction. I don't know where I would be without music, honestly. I REALLY don't know where I'd be without God. If I didn't believe in a higher power, I'd probably be suffering so much more and doing so much worse for myself. This one song by Group 1 Crew really reminds me how much I rely on God and need to continue to rely on him. It's called "Can't Go On." The lyrics are as follows:
Lord I really need you in my life/ I don't wanna do this on my own/ I can't go on

I'm starting to just put my faith back in the One who knows what's best for me. He knows my heart and all its' desires. He knows where I'll end up and what I'm supposed to be doing right now. He knows me better than anyone else. I can put my faith in people and over and over again, I can testify to the very fact that people will let you down. I was let down by one of my very good friends. I was let down by someone I considered my brother. I was let down by someone who promised they'd never leave my side. I've also been let down by people who have been put in my life for the season to just simply point out to me that I do stupid things and I need to get it in check with Him. Well, I'm currently starting to see that everything I do has a reason and whether this is the season for it, I just have to give it all up to Him. I keep meditating and one scripture keeps coming up. It's the very scripture that I've had on my page since I've started socialising on here and it will probably ALWAYS be my scripture to live by. "If your heart is broken, you'll find God right there; if you're kicked in the gut, He'll help you catch your breath." There's so much awfulness that happens to us as young people--adults, too, I hear. Being a human being and a person isn't always easy. We will always be people, but when we become HUMAN is when we begin to stray a little further rather than if we just let God decide that our humanity will not guide us, but just exist as a tool for ministry. I'm slowly learning, and with all that has happened to me in the past few months, I'm just giving it up and letting Him get all the glory and the honor and the praise. I keep taking that from Him, and I'm suffering miserably because of it. There's just sooooo much more.

We were made for this. We were also made for MORE than this. We were made to give a testimony, and there is no testimony without a test. I was made to build my stamina in my youth and persevere in my old age. I was also made to take wisdom and knowledge from my elders and peers. Surprisingly enough, when I surround myself with peers who are also seeking the face of God, I see that I am seeking Him, too. They PUSH me in that direction and make me question what it really means to be a Christian. Am I really sharing the love of Christ? Am I really walking and living like Jesus did? These questions hit home, because I know that I've just been "so-so." Well, I want what they have. I want the passion that they have. I want to have a desire like they do. So now, I'm yearning for that and seeking Him wholeheartedly.

I leave you with this:
God knows you. He will guide you if you let Him. He will honor your desire of free will and He will help you every step of the way. I have never known Jehovah to abandon anyone in their time of need. Our Father tells us He will never leave us, nor forsake us. We just sometimes have to still our fleshly desires to have instant gratification and have our needs met in our own time to hear what He is saying for us and how His result will end. His will is the best for us. He is our EVERYTHING. We should want that...we should need that. I know I do. Without the people that I have around me, I probably wouldn't be hungering for God the way that I do right now...I may slip backwards, but that is what I wanted to say.