My "testimony"

Idk how to tell my testimony lol im kinda still livin it. but ill try. I was born into a christian family, we moved several times and eventually settled down in craig colorado. i was homeschooled with my brother untill the middle of eighth grade. we formed a band when we were freshman and that rabbit trail story is on my page. end of my freshman year i ended up dating a girl who id know for a long time, we dated for quite a while and i was sure it would end in marriage but it fell through. (being so young) it sent me into deppression. my house was so strict that i couldnt drink or anything if i wanted too, ( so much stuff is going on all at the same time lol ). One part of me is screaming to the world saying i want to experience you, the other part of me is crying to God and serving him with all my heart. i was drumming for the church and serving God the best i could. It was a spirit filled church so i was pretty bold with my faith. To deal with that depression i channeled all the emotions into music which led us to go pretty far. over the years that caused me to not want to let go, idk if i was scared or what but that depression followed me around for a long time. about a year ago i was at the peak of my life, 19-20 yrs old, me and my brothers band was getting huge, pending record labels, a booking agent, cd's were in the proccess of being recorded, proffesional artist ( he drew a cover for anthrax), had a song about to go to the radio station in denver, even had a song on radiou. We had friends and fans all over colorado, nebraska, wyoming, all the way to illinois from playing at cornerstone. we were rock stars. that brought huge temptation but i decided i was better than all that so i stayed away from the world but at the same time i longed for it. we all rode bikes so were ridin with famous riders, a few of which are sponsered. i had the huge fancy expensive truck, we were living the life.
My brother passed away in october of 08, due to accidental death. i cant even explain how hard is to lose a little brother. my best friend. our lives were enter-twined, our futures depended on each other. by then i was out of high school, i had so many life experiences and seen so much that i grew up exponetially, both emotionally, and muturity. i knew what i had to do to grow up spiritually but i was having fun doin my own thing. i fell on God and cried for weeks, so many people helped me through it, i knew God had a plan for my life so i couldnt give up. i know ill see him soon. but then i decided to dip into the world a little bit, i ended up getting a g/f for a little bit, but thats another story. i started drinking a little just cus i craved to fit in with that crowd and have more friends cus all my good friends went off to school or the military. the monday after my brothers funeral i started working in an underground coal mine, the most surreal darkness i cant even explain how much evil there is underground. the complete absence of light and the fact that you could die any minute just added to that depression. I started workin 65+ hrs a week so i couldnt go to church or youth group or anything. i made lots of money though lol. recently i decided that it was time to stop playing around, so i ended up getting accepted into a serious school in Tempe. I am currently attending the University of Advancing Technology, majoring in network security (ethical hacking), im thinking about a dual major in computer forensics or somethin, idk yet. im hoping to get hooked up with a good church and start getting my life back on track. I feel called to be a youth pastor, or a worship director idk maybe both. either way im excited.

thats like a super long story short lol its hard to talk about something when so much is goin on in the background but thats the gist of it.....peace.