"SEEKING THE ONE WHO LOVED YOU FIRST"

I WANT TO TALK ABOUT SOMETHING THAT IS VERY DEAR TO MY HEART, AND SURELY VERY DEAR TO YOUR HEART “LOVE”. I OFTEN TELL PEOPLE WHEN I FIRST MEET THEM. “I DON’T KNOW YOU, AND YOU DON’T KNOW ME, SO THIS JUST SEEMS LIKE A GOOD PLACE FOR US TO KEEP IT REAL".

THE TOPIC FOR THIS BLOG IS “SEEKING THE ONE WHO LOVED YOU FIRST”. I WAS ASKED TO SPEAK ON THIS TOPIC AT A WOMENS CONFERENCE AND SO MANY THINGS CAME TO MY MIND. MY INITIAL THOUGHTS WERE THAT OF THE SO CALLED LOVE RELATIONSHIPS I’VE HAD IN MY LIFE. THE TIMES I THOUGHT I WAS IN LOVE, AND THE TIMES SOMEONE TOLD ME THEY LOVED ME.

LOVE BEING SUCH A POWERFUL WORD, WHEN I BEGAN TO THINK ON SOME OF MY PAST SO CALLED LOVE RELATIONSHIPS I HAD TO STOP AND PAUSE, AND TAKE A BREATH. I BECAME SO OVERWHELMED AND CONSUMED IN THOUGHT I HAD TO DRAW MYSELF BACK IN. CAN I KEEP IT REAL?

I'M TALKING ABOUT SEEKING LOVE AND I HAD TO THINK ON EXACTLY WHAT THAT MEANS. THE NORTH AMERICAN DICTIONARY SAYS THAT THE WORD SEEKING MEANS TO SEARCH, TO ASK, TO STRIVE, TO HEAD FOR, AND TO ATTEMPT TO GET. THIS INSTANTLY MADE ME THINK ON THE WOMAN WITH THE ISSUE OF BLOOD.

ACTUALLY, I STARTED IN GENESIS THE 29TH CHAPTER THINKING ON JACOB AND HOW MUCH HE LOVED RACHEL. HE LOVED HER SO MUCH THAT HE SERVED RACHEL'S FATHER FOR 7 YEARS IN ORDER TO GET RACHEL. ONLY TO FIND OUT THAT BECAUSE OF THE CULTURE OF THE COUNTRY HE WAS IN, HE HAD TO TAKE RACHEL’S YOUNGER SISTER FIRST IN MARRIAGE, SERVE HER FOR 7 MORE YEARS BEFORE HE COULD HAVE THE WOMAN HE REALLY LOVED, RACHEL. THAT’S 14 YEARS.

THEN MY THOUGHTS WENT BACK TO THE WOMAN WITH THE ISSUE OF BLOOD. YOU’VE READ THE STORY. THIS WOMAN HAD AN ISSUE OF BLOOD THAT SHE DEALT WITH FOR TWELVE YEARS. SHE SOUGHT MANY PHYSICIANS. SHE SPENT ALL HER LIVING, IN OTHER WORDS, ALL HER DAYS, MORNING, NOON AND NIGHT SEEKING PHYSICIANS. I WOULD VENTURE TO SAY THAT WHEN SHE ROSE IN THE MORNING AND BEFORE SHE WENT TO BED AT NIGHT SHE SPENT HER TIME LOOKING FOR SOMEONE THAT COULD HEAL HER ISSUE OF BLOOD.

IN THE NATURAL YOU HAD TWO REAL SITUATIONS THAT REQUIRED ENDURANCE. ONE SONG WRITER SAID “NO-NO YOU CAN’T HURRY LOVE, SAID YOU JUST HAVE TO WAIT, LOVE DON’T COME EASY, IT’S A GAME OF GIVE AND TAKE”

ONE PARRABLE DEALT WITH LOVE, AND THE OTHER DEALT WITH HEALING. I BELIEVE IN THESE TWO STORIES THE MESSAGE IS, THAT WHICH YOU LOVE YOU WILL WAIT FOR, AND WHEN YOU FIND TRUE LOVE (OR WHEN YOU FIND THE REAL THING) YOU WILL BE HEALED. SOMEBODY ONCE SAID ,"LOVE WILL MAKE THE SICK MAN WELL AND THE WELL MAN SICK". LOVE IN ITS PURE FORM IS A HEALER AND LOVE OUTSIDE OF ITS PURE FORM IS NOT LOVE AT ALL.

IN THINKING ABOUT THE WOMAN WITH THE ISSUE OF BLOOD, THE SCRIPTURES TELL US THAT SHE SPENT ALL HER LIVING LOOKING FOR A PHYSICIAN. HAVE YOU EVER DESIRED SOMETHING OR SOMEONE SO MUCH THAT YOU SPENT EVERY WAKING HOUR TRYING TO FIND IT.? YOU ROSE IN THE MORNING THINKING ABOUT IT, YOU WENT TO BED AT NIGHT WITH IT ON YOUR MIND.

TRUTH IS, WHEN YOU WANT SOMETHING BAD ENOUGH, YOU WILL GO AFTER IT. AND, WANTING SOMETHING BAD ENOUGH IS DESIRE. THAT WHICH YOU DESIRE, YOU WILL ALSO LOVE, AND THAT WHICH YOU LOVE YOU WILL BE PASSIONATE ABOUT. DESIRE, LOVE, AND PASSION, THESE WORDS ARE SYNONYMOUS WITH ONE ANOTHER. BUT, CONCERNING THE WOMAN WITH THE ISSUE OF BLOOD, THE SCRIPTURES TELL US THAT "IN HER LOOKING, NEITHER (NONE OF THEM) COULD HEAL HER". EVERYTHING SHE SEARCHED FOR WAS NOT ENOUGH. I CAN ONLY IMAGINE THAT IN TWELVE YEARS, SHE MUST HAVE WENT TO PHYSICIANS THAT EVEN MADE HER FEEL LIKE SHE WAS HEALED. GIVING HER MEDICINE FOR THE SYMPTOMS. ONLY TO FIND OUT THAT THE DISEASE NEVER LEFT. IT WAS JUST A TEMPORARY FIX. SOMETIMES YOU WANT SOMETHING OR SOMEONE SO BAD THAT YOU WILL SETTLE FOR THE GOOD FEELING, KNOWING THAT IT IS TEMPORAL AND WONT LAST.

LIKE JACOB AND LEAH, JACOBCOB WANTED RACHEL, AND WAS WILLING TO SETTLE FOR LEAH UNTIL HE COULD HAVE RACHEL. THIS IS WHY I BELIEVE LOVE IS NOT A FEELING IT IS AN ACTION. IT’S NOT AN EMOTION, IT'S AN ACTION. CAN YOU IMAGINE WHAT JACOB MUST HAVE FELT LIKE WHEN HE WAITED 7 YEARS TO GET RACHEL ONLY TO FIND OUT HE HAD TO WAIT 7 MORE? HE WENT THROUGH THE MOTION’S WITH LEAH, BUT HE WAS NOT FULFILLED. HE WENT THROUGH THE MOTIONS WITH LEAH, BUT HE YEARNED FOR RACHEL.

I BELIEVE LUTHER VANDROSE SAID “IF YOU CAN’T BE WITH THE ONE YOU LOVE, YOU GOT TO LOVE THE ONE YOU’RE WITH”

I CAN ONLY IMAGINE THAT FOR THE WOMAN WITH THE ISSUE OF BLOOD, THE MEDICINE MADE HER FEEL GOOD FOR A WHILE, BUT DEEP DOWN INSIDE, SHE KNEW SHE WASN’T HEALED. BUT THE SUBSTITUTE WAS BETTER THAN NOTHING. SHE ALSO HUNG ON TO WHAT THE PHYSICIANS SAID IN HOPES OF FINDING THE ANSWER. EVEN SOME OF THEM KNEW THERE WAS SOMETHING BETTER.

HAVEN'T YOU EVER BEEN IN A LOVE RELATIONSHIP WHERE IT FELT GOOD SOMEDAYS, AND YOU WERE READY TO DECLARE YOUR LOVE ALL OVER, ONLY TO FIND OUT THAT IT WAS A TEMORARY FEELING YET YOU WERE STILL IN THE RELATIONSHIP. THINKING TO YOUR SELF I KNOW THIS IS NOT WORKING, WHY DO I KEEP HOLDING ON? NOT WANTING TO GIVE UP THE FEELING.

I'M SURE YOU CAN TELL I LOVE MUSIC. THERE’S ANOTHER OLD R & B SONG THAT SAYS “OH I, I’M HOOKED ON A FEELING”. I REFERENCE THE SONGS BECAUSE I THINK THEY EXPRESS THE POWER OF LOVE IN A WAY THAT IS EASY TO RELATE. THE POINT IM MAKING IS THAT ITS EASY TO STAY IN A RELATIONSHIP WHEN THERE ARE EMOTIONAL TIES, KNOWING THAT THERE IS MO TRUE LOVE THERE. HOW DO YOU KNOW? BECAUSE YOU’RE STILL HURTING, YOU’RE STILL IN PAIN, AND MORE IMPORTANTILY, YOU’RE STILL BLEEDING ON THE INSIDE WHICH IS AN INDICATION OF A SLOW DEATH?

I WOULD IMAGINE THAT SINCE SHE HAD AN ISSUE OF BLOOD, HER SKIN WAS DARK. THIS BEING ONE OF THE SIGNS OF A BLOOD DISORDER. I WOULD ALSO IMAGINE THAT WHILE SHE WAS ON TVARIOUS MEDICINES SHE EVEN APPEARED TO BE HEALED. PEOPLE PROBABLY SAW HER AND THOUGHT SHE WAS HEALED.

SINCE SHE HAD THE ISSUE OF BLOOD FOR SO MANY YEARS, THEY PROBABLY MARVELED AT THE APPEARANCE OF HER HEALING. THE ON LOOKERS THAT DIDN’T BELIEVE SHE COULD BE HEALED IN THE FIRST PLACE MARVELED AT HER SIGHT. SAYING WHO IS THIS GREAT PHYSICIAN THAT HAS HEALED THEE? ONLY TO FIND OUT, THAT IT WAS A TEMPORARY SOLUTION THAT COULD NOT LAST. THIS WENT ON FOR 12 LONG YEARS.

SOME OF US ARE INVOLVED IN RELATIONSHIPS THAT APPEAR TO BE GOOD FROM THE OUTSIDE. BECAUSE OF THE TEMPORARY EMOTIONAL HIGH, WHEN THE ON LOOKER SEES US, IT APPEARS TO BE THE REAL THING. THOSE WHO THOUGHT WE COULD NEVER FIND LOVE ARE MARVELING AT WHAT THEY SEE. OUR SKIN DOESN’T APPEAR TO BE DARK ANYMORE, AND WE’RE SAYING ALL THE RIGHT WORDS. WE ARE DOTTING OUR I’S AND CROSSING OUR T’S. WE LOOK SO GOOD WE’RE TELLING OTHERS WHAT THEY NEED TO DO TO BE HEALED.

KNOW THIS, THERE IS KNOW SUBSTITUTE FOR LOVE. IT’S LIKE COUNTERFEIT MONEY, YOU CAN’T SPEND IT ANYWHERE. AND EVEN IF YOU MAKE IT PAST THE CLERK, EVENTUALLY IT’S GOING TO BE FOUND OUT. LIKE THE COUNTERFEIT MONEY, IT LOOKS REAL, IT EVEN FEELS REAL.

ONE DAY THEY SAW THE WOMAN WITH THE ISSUE OF BLOOD, AND SHE LOOKED WELL, AND ANOTHER DAY THEY SAW HER AND SHE DIDN’T AND THEY WERE CONFUSED. THE SAME WAY PEOPLE LOOK AT YOU WHEN YOU CONFESS YOUR LOVE FOR CHRIST AND HIS LOVE FOR YOU, ONLY TO BE FOUND DOING SOMETHING OUTSIDE OF YOUR CONFESSION. THAT’S RIGHT, “OUTSIDE OF YOUR CONFESSION”.

REMEMBER THE OLD SONG “AINT NOTHING LIKE THE REAL THING BABY”

I WOULD IMAGINE THAT SHE SAW SOME PHYSICIANS THAT HEALED OTHER PEOPLES ISSUES, AND JUST KNEW THEY COULD HEAL HER. ONLY TO FIND OUT, THAT WHEN THEY GOT TO HER; THEY COULD DO NOTHING BECAUSE HER ISSUE WAS DIFFERENT. THEY HAD NEVER SEEN ANYTHING LIKE IT. THERE WAS NO PRIOR RESEARCH.

SOME HAVE SEARCHED LONG AND HARD FOR SOMEONE TO LOVE THEM, ONLY TO FIND ONCE FOUND THAT THE VOID IS STILL THERE. SOME ARE WILLING TO COMMIT ADULTERYAND TAKE SOME BODY ELSE’S LOVE BECAUSE WE BELIEVE THEY CAN LOVE US THE WAY WE’VE SEEN THEM LOVE SOMEBODY ELSE. ONLY TO FIND OUT THAT WHAT SOMEONE ELSE HAD IS NOT WHAT YOU NEED. YOU ARE UNIQUE AND HAVE YOUR OWN ISSUES.
WHAT IS ADULTERY BUT VOLUNTARY RELATIONS BETWEEN A MARRIED PERSON, AND SOME (BODY) OTHER THAN YOUR SPOUSE? ADULTERY CAN BE COMMITTED BOTH IN THE SPIRITUAL AND IN THE NATURAL.

IF YOU HAVE EVER MET THE LOVE OF YOUR LIFE THE ONE THAT NOT ONLY YOU LOVE, BUT THAT LOVES YOU, THEN YOU KNOW THAT NOTHING COMPARES TO IT. TWHEN YOU ENCOUNTER THIS ILOVE, THE VOID, THE HURT, AND THE PAIN GO AWAY.

I'M SURE YOU HAVE SAID LIKE THE WOMAN WITH THE ISSUE OF BLOOD, IF I CAN JUST GET TO THAT ONE’ I WILL BE MADE WHOLE. YOUR FAITH IN WHAT YOU SAW AND HEARD TOLD YOU, THIS WAS THE ONE. I BELIEVE, THAT’S WHAT HAPPENED WITH RACHEL WHEN SHE SAW JACOB. THE SCRIPTURES SAY “THAT WHICH YOU HAVE BOTH SEEN AND HEARD, DO, AND THE GOD OF PEACE SHALL BE WITH YOU.

LOVE WILL MAKE YOU DO WHAT YOU DIDN’T KNOW YOU COULD DO.

THE WOMAN WITH THE ISSUE OF BLOOD PRESSED HER WAY THROUGH THE CROUD. THEY THRONGED CHRIST AND THEY THRONGRED HER. THEY MUST HAVE STEPPED ON HER HANDS, AND KICKED HER BUT SHE WAS DETERMINED TO GET TO THE PHYSICIAN THAT SHE HEARD SO MUCH ABOUT. SHE KNEW IF SHE COULD JUST GET TO HIM SHE WOULD BE HEALED. WHAT WE ALSO LEARN FROM THIS, IS THAT IT’S NOT ENOUGH TO HEAR IT, YOU’VE ALSO HAVE TO GO TO IT.

ARE YOU WILLING TO BE THRONGED IN ORDER TO GET TO YOUR LOVER?

IT WASN’T UNTIL SHE WAS CLOSE ENOUGH THAT SHE COULD BEGIN TO SEE HIM THOUGH I'M SURETHE HEALING PROCESS STARTED THE MOMENT SHE BELIEVED. AS SHE CONTINUED ON, EVENTUALLY SHE WAS ABLE TO TOUCH THE HEM OF HIS GARMET.

IT WAS AFTER MANY GREAT ACTS LIKE THIS ONE, THAT CHRIST WAS CRUCIFIED. HE WAS HUNG ON THE CROSS, PIERCED IN HIS SIDE, BRUISED FOR OUR INIUITIES, AND THE SCRIPTURES TELL US THAT THE CHASTISEMENT OF OUR PEACE WAS UPON HIS SHOULDER. AFTER ALL HE HAD DONE HE WAS WILLING TO DIE FOR US. BELOVED, WHAT MANNER OF LOVE IS THIS THAT A MAN WOULD LAY DOWN HIS LIFE FOR A FRIEND? TRUE LOVE IS ALSO FRIENDSHIP. WHEN YOU FIND TRUE LOVE, YOU WON’T GO BACK TO ANOTHER.

CHRIST TOOK ON THE BURDENS OF MAN, SO THAT WE MIGHT LIVE. THAT BY ONE MANS SIN DID WE ALL DIE BUT BY ANOTHER MANS DEATH DO WE ALL LIVE. WE ARE STILL TALKING ABOUT SEEKING THE ONE WHO LOVED YOU FIRST. BUT GUESS WHAT? AFTER CHRIST DEATH, YOU KNOW LONGER HAD TO SEEK HIM. I WAS SO INTRIGUED WITH THIS THOUGHT; THAT I HAD TO KNOW HOW MANY TIMES THE WORKD SEEK WAS MENTIONED IN THE BIBLE. THE WORD SEEK IS IN THE BIBLE 244 TIMES IN 233 SCRIPTURES.

I SEARCHED A LITTLE FURTHER ONLY TO FIND THAT AFTER HIS DEATH HE NO LONGER TELLS US TO SEEK HIM.
IF YOU UNDERSTAND WHO YOU ARE, YOU DON’T HAVE TO SEEK HIM ANY MORE. YOU CAN WALK IN YOUR WHOLENESS. BEFORE CHRIST TAINTED BLOOD, AFTER CHRIST, WHOLE BLOOD WITH NO ISSUES. IT’S NOT ENOUGH TO BE FOUND.

THE ONLY TIME WE SEE THE WORD SEEK IN THE NEW TESTAMENT IS WHEN THE LORD TELLS US TO SEEK YE FIRST THE KINGDOM OF GOD, AND ALL OF HIS RIGHTEOUSNESS. IT SAYS, “FOR THE KINGDOM OF GOD IS LOVE, JOY AND PEACE IN THE HOLYGHOST”. THE KINGOM OF GOD IS A METHOD. THE KINGDOM OF HEAVEN IS A PLACE. "CHRIST IN YOU THE HOPE OF GLORY". "WHERE JESUS IS TIS HEAVEN THERE". IN OTHER WORDS, WHAT YOUARE SEEKING FOR YOU ALREADY HAVE. YOU DON’T HAVE TO SEARCH ANY MORE. YOU ONLY NEED TO CULTIVATE.

THE ONLY ONE SEEKING GOD NOW IS THE MAN THAT DOES NOT KNOW HIM. AND THE ONLY REASON YOU DO NOT KNOW HIM, IS BECAUSE YOU HAVE NOT ALLOWED YOURSELF TO BE EXPOSED TO THE TRUTH.

THE SON THAT DOES NOT KNOW CHRIST DOES NOT KNOW HE IS ONE WITH THE FATHER. “I AND MY FATHER ARE ONE” YOU MAY ASK, HOW CAN YOU SAY THAT – ONLY CHRIST CAN SAY “I AND MY FATHER ARE ONE. BUT THE BIBLE TELLS ME THAT BY CHRIST DEATH, WE BECAME JOINT HEIRS WITH THE FATHER. IN OTHER WORDS, “I AM A SON OF GOD”, AND WHAT BELONGS TO THE FATHER BELONGS TO ME. I DON’T HAV TO SEEK HIM ANY MORE, BECAUSE WE ARE ONE. THE ONLY THING I NEED TO KNOW NOW IS WHAT BELONGS TO HIM, SO I CAN KNOW WHAT BELONGS TO ME.

IN ALL THY GETTING – GET UNDERSTANDTHE
YOU KNOW LONGER HAVE TO SEEK FOR THE ONE WHO LOVED YOU FIRST.

SUSAN
I.M.P.A.C.T.